Film review: Here We Are crafts tender, layered story of father-and-son bond
VJFF feature looks at autism, caregiving, and the need to let go
The Vancouver Jewish Film Festival presents Here We Are from March 4 to 14
IN THE OPENING minutes of Nir Bergman’s award-winning feature film, as a father and his adult son ride a train together, two things are made immediately apparent: the sweet and cheerful son, Uri, has autism; and he is utterly reliant on his father Aharon, a patient and devoted caregiver.
Uri’s dependence on Aharon seems absolute. “Do I like pasta stars?” he asks, about dinner. Before laughing about something, he always checks first: “Joke?” And when his mother, Tamara, appears at their doorstep, bearing gifts, he enquires: “Do I like mom?”
As this gentle film unfolds, however, we begin to see that it may not be Uri who needs Aharon so much as the reverse. It takes time, but slowly Aharon’s fractured story begins to emerge. Divorced and unemployed, with a weary demeanor edged with anxiety, he has created a whole life around caring for Uri, to the detriment of his own. So, when a place in an excellent group home is made available, Aharon balks, much to Natasha’s irritation.
With the move-in date approaching, Aharon’s actions escalate. He goes from being uncooperative, to obstructive, to dangerously irresponsible. While it’s clear he understands Uri better than anyone, and can calm and guide him in a way no one else can, his motives become blurry. Is his refusal to relinquish Uri to a new home really about what’s best for his son, or about losing his own sense of place?
As he leads Uri on an adventure that is doomed to end badly, there are brief flashes of insight. In one beautiful moment, having lost track of Uri at a nighttime fairground, Aharon finds him again—dancing his heart out in a crowd of revellers. Taking in the sight, Aharon’s tense expression changes from agitation to wonder, and finally, joy.
Noam Imber, as Uri, is remarkable in a sensitive and fully embodied performance that never veers into caricature. As Aharon, Shai Avivi offers a multifaceted and deeply compassionate portrayal of a flawed man led astray by his fierce paternal instincts. Together, they craft a tender and layered portrait of parental love, and the exquisite pain of learning to let go.
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